Falling Down
by grace2020
Summary: One moment can change your life. Casey and Dawson find out just how much so after an explosion rocks house 51. Will they be able to get past their own fears and begin to build the future they both want or will they need to step back from one another?
1. Chapter 1

Hello all you wonderful Chicago Fire fans out there. I came up with the idea of this story a while ago, but I wanted to complete my other story, Losing it All, first. With that being said, Shay is still alive in my story and it takes place right after the explosion, I thought about changing it so that it would parallel with the show more, but then I realized that if I did it that way, then I would have to change the whole story and lets be honest we could all do with a little Shay in our lives right now, even if it comes in a fan fiction story. So I hope that you enjoy in this story and I hope to hear what you think.

Thanks,

Grace

Chapter One

Matt opens his eyes, staring at the ceiling of warehouse, his eyes still ringing from the explosion that just threw him half way to the other side of the room. A groan escapes his lips as he sits up to evaluate his surroundings, with each moment his body displace how fragile it actually is. He climbs to his feet slowly and biting down as he tries to force the pain away.

"Casey," he hears his name called from behind him. Matt instantly turns around to find Herrmann. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Matt answers back and panic surges through him as he watches the rest of his men climb to their feet. "Everyone alright?" he asks doing his best to try and hide his own pain.

"We're good," Cruz says as he helps Mouchup from the hard ground, which has has large gash in his left leg.

"Casey!" Severide's voice echoes through the stairwell from the other side of the room.

"We're fine," Matt calls out as he eyes all of his men making sure that they weren't lying.

As Matt and Severide began to take inventory of their men, relieve spread through their bodies. Everyone seemed to be a little banged up with cuts and bruises, but for the most part in one piece.

"Severide, Casey," Chief's voice rings through the speaker of the walkie-talkie, "Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah Chief, Mouch is a little banged up but he will be alright," Matt says as they begin to move throughout the floor looking for a safe exist.

"Tell Shay and Dawson to be ready, Mouch is going to need to be stitched up," Severide added.

"Shay and Dawson are still inside," Chief said with all most a shake in his voice.

Matt and Severide both looked at each other with panic and worry readable in their eyes. They immediately began to call for both women as they found a staircase covered in broken concrete and steal pipes.

"Gabby," Matt called as he did his best to make his way down to the first floor without injuring himself. His heart raced with every step he took to find her, he needed to see her and hold her in his arms. "Gabby," he called again as he begun to dig through some rumble.

"Casey!" Severide called his name, drawing his attention to the other side of the building. He knew that whatever he found wasn't good. What seemed like hours was actually seconds when he reached Severide. Severide was leaning over two bodies as they lay on the cold hard floor. Matt instantly fell to his knees as he took in Gabby's unresponsive body. With a shaking hand, he checked for a pulse and relieved to find she had one. It was weak, but it was there. Tears began to sting his blue eyes as he lifted her from the ground. He knew that he shouldn't carry her out like this, but he didn't know how much time they had before the building would cave.

"Come on baby," stay with me he whispered into her ear as he moved as fast as possible with Severide carrying Shay right behind him, "I need you to stay with me." Matt could see two ambulances racing towards them with their sirens blazing. He placed a light kiss on Gabby's forehead, as his tears continued to roll down his dirty cheeks. He turned his head to see his men coming out wide opening of the door; he then looked back down at Gabby. He knew that he really should stay with his men to make sure that everyone was okay, but there was no way in hell he was going to leave Gabby.

"What happened?" Chout asked jumping out of the rig looking at Matt. His partner opened the back door to the ambulance and pulled out the gurney. Matt rushed over to it with Gabby in his arms and set her small body down.

"An explosion from an open flame, Dawson has been unconscious since we found her," he tells him trying his best to hold back any emotion he had in his voice. Matt watches as Chout and his partner begin to work on Gabby. He moves closer as they load her into the ambulance and without thinking Matt climbs in, "I'm going," he states looking up at Chout.

Chout just nods his head as he shuts the doors and within moments the rig is in gear.

Matt and Kelly wait along with the rest of the crew from 51 on news about Dawson and Shay. Nobody says a words as they wait, each one lost in their own thoughts. Matt glances around as he member of the house, his mouth opens to say something, but he silenced by the sight of two doctors walking into the waiting room.

"Family of Gaberila Dawson," the blonde haired doctor calls out as he glances around the room. Matt instantly stands up, "I'm her boyfriend," Matt says clearing his throat.

"Ms. Dawson has suffered a collapsed lung and some internal bleeding, which were able to control with emergency surgery. We will be monitoring her vitals throughout the night, but we believe that she will make a full recovery."

Matt felt like he could breathe again, "When can I see her?" he asked.

"In just a few minutes, we are currently moving her into a different room. Someone will come out and let you know when you are able to see her."

Matt nodding his head, "thank you," he said as he watched the doctor walk away.

"I assume you are all her for Leslie Shay," the other doctor said, everyone nods their heads.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all the wonderful feedback, it really makes me want to write more! I also want to say, I am so happy to see so many great stories on here. I absolutely love reading them and it really shows how creative you all are, so thank you and please update your stories soon! Anyways, I hope that you enjoy this chapter.

Grace

Chapter 2

Matt couldn't believe how fast his life changed in a matter of hours. He had asked Gabby to marry him and even though she didn't say yes, he knew by the look on her face she was going to. He could see them together, living their life with a couple of kids running around their house, but everything had changed since walking into that building.

He sat on the edge of Gabby's hospital bed, taking her hand in his. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her bruised face; even now she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on. He rubbed his thumb over her small knuckles, he would give anything for her brown eyes to open in this moment, but the doctors told him that it could take a few hours before she would wake. He knew that they were lucky and that her injuries weren't as bad as it could have been, but it still scared the shit out of him that everything could have taken away from him in the blink of eye.

He almost let out a sigh of relieve before his mind trailed back to the thought of Shay. He knew that we Gabby finally did wake up; she was going to be asking questions about her best friend. To be honest Matt, had no idea what he was going to say to her. He knew that she needed to know the truth, but he also knew that she needed to focus on getting better. His chest tightened at the thought of the conversation with Gabby as guilt washed over him as he realized that he was relieved that it wasn't Gabby, but did that mean he was glad it was Shay instead?

"Hey," a voice calls from the door drawing Matt's attention to Antonio who looked as lost as he felt.

"Hey," Matt answered back clearing his throat, but never letting go of Gabby's hand. He knew that he should give Antonio a minute alone with his younger sister, but he couldn't be away from her right now.

"How is she doing?" Antonio asked stepping further into the room. He quickly wiped his eye with the back of his hand as he came around to the other side of Gabby. When he got the call from Boden, he raced to his car and drove as fast as he possibly could to get here. The whole time worry coursed through him and tears pierced his eyes.

"The doctors said that she had a collapsed lung and internal bleeding, they think that she should be a wake in a few hours," Matt speaks in an almost whisper, Matt cleared his voice as he continued, "You know the crazy thing of all this, I asked Gabby to marry right before the call came in."

"What did she say," Antonio smirked knowing that the only answer out of Gabby's mouth would be yes. He could see it the first time he ever saw Matt and Gabby together, she was completely in love with him and when he called her out on it, she didn't even try to deny it, she just simply stated that he was taken.

"She didn't get a chance to answer."

"Leave it to Gabs to make it all dramatic," Antonio laughed knowing that if she was awake right now she would smack him. "In all seriousness, I have never seen her so happy and that is because of you."

"Not as happy as she has made me," Matt mumbles as he places a light kiss on her forehead.

"I heard that Shay was injured, how is she?"

"She… She is…" Matt paused for a second trying to form the sentence to tell Antonio about Shay, "There was a lot of swelling in the brain, so the doctors placed her into an induced coma in hopes of relieving the pressure, but the doctors aren't sure if it will help. Everything is up in the air right now, but we will find out in the twenty-four hours if it helping."

"I know that I don't know Shay that well, but from what I have seen, she is not going down without a fight," Antonio said placing his hand on Matt's shoulder.

"Thanks man," Matt said as he pressed his jaw.

"I'm going to call my parents and let them know about Gabby," Antonio said as he took his phone out of his pocket.

"I didn't even think to call them," Matt stated as he threw his head back. He had been so wrapped up in his own concern that he didn't even think to call Gabby's family.

"Matt it's fine, besides I think my mom would start speaking Spanish."

"Gabby does that when she gets upset," Matt smiled at the memory of Gabby shouting in Spanish as she moved around the apartment looking for her car keys. He knew that she was cursing at him, because he was the one who moved them and forgot where he placed them.

"Consider it a blessing that you don't understand them," Antonio said with a teasing tone as he moved out of the room.

Antonio came back in about ten minutes later, Matt asked how the phone call went and Antonio explained how his mother reacted to the news. Matt couldn't blame her for her reaction, if he had gotten the phone call about his daughter being almost killed and laid up in the hospital, he would panic as well and to make matter worse, her parents were still in the Dominic Republic until next month.

Antonio stayed with Matt for a couple of hours as they both waited for Gabby to wake up, but Antonio received a phone call from Erin stating that they needed him back at the district. Antonio made Matt promise that he would call if anything in Gabby's condition changed.

Once Antonio left, Matt moved back to sitting on the bed next to Gabby. He brushed a piece of hair away from her face and then he took her hand into his. "Baby, I need you to wake up now, you know that my patience has its limits and besides, I need you to answer my question," he said as he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Matt secretly hoped that his words would be like Snow White's kiss and her eyes would magically open, but that was a fairy tale and this was real life. He sat in his spot for a while longer before sitting in the chair next to her bed. He could feel his eyes grow heavy and before he realized what was happening, sleep over took his sore body.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

An unusual noise kept Gabby from going back to sleep, she did her best to ignore the intrusion to her much needed rest, but it was persistent to no end. She slowly opened her eyes with a slight moan as she took in her surroundings. _This isn't my bedroom, _she thought as her vision began to focus on the ceiling tiles above her. As she began to piece together where she was, her memory starting to replay the last things she remembered before waking up. She remembered Matt asking her to marry him at Chief's wedding; she remembered a call came in before she could answer him. She then remembered arriving on scene and watching truck 81 and squad 3 go into the abandoned building. With in seconds, Casey came over the radio with information about a victim. Her and Shay quickly grabbed their supplies and raced into the building. They located the unresponsive man, as they began to work on him an explosion erupted causing Gabby to fly backwards across the room.

Her eyes brimmed with tears as the memories surfaced and worry coursed through her as she thought about Shay, Matt, and all the other guys from house 51, She now could feel the pain course through her body as her thoughts began to run wild. She moved her hand to her face in a slow motion in hopes of causing no further pain, and wiped the spilling tears away. She then turned to her side to find a very familiar looking blonde seating in the chair next to her. His arms were folded across his chest and his eyes were closed. Relief spread through her, but she could see how tried Matt was by the worried lines on his face, even in his sleep his concern was evident.

Gabby shifted in bed trying to sit up a little more; she let out a wince of pain with the movement. Causing Matt to quickly stir from his sleep, it took him all of a half of second to jump from his chair and on to his feet.

"Gabby," he said her name as he leaned down a placed a light kiss on her forehead and a smile displayed across his face. "Don't move I'm going to get the nurse."

"Shay and all the other guys, where are they?" Gabby asked wanting to know as much as she could.

Matt paused for a second; he could see in her pleading eyes that she was in desperate need of information, but he needed to make sure that she was strong enough first. "I will tell you everything once the nurse checks you out," he says as he strokes the side of her face and then leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips.

As Matt turned out of Gabby's room he was able to let out that breath he had been holding since the explosion. He was thankful that Gabby was alive and now that she is awake, however he still didn't know how he was going to tell Gabby about Shay. His heart broke for his friend and felt guilty for the fact that it wasn't Gabby.

He cleared his throat when he reached the nurse's station, "Excuse me," he said to the nurse sitting in the chair in front of the computer screen, he eyes now directed at him, "My fiancé, Gabby Dawson, is a wake," he said with so many emotions in his voice.

The nurse smiled, "That is wonderful news. I will send in her nurse as soon as possible."

"Thank you," Matt replied stepping away from the counter. He quickly walked back to her room, he didn't want to be away from her a minute longer. When he walked through the doorway, he noticed that her eyes were closed, for a split second; he thought that he dreamt the whole thing and that Gabby had never woken up, but as he moved closer to her, her eyes opened again.

A larger smile formed across his lips as he sat on the edge of the hospital bed. "I am so glad you're okay," Gabby said as she ran her hand up Matt's arm.

"Just a few bruises, nothing to write home about," he tells as he brushes a piece of fallen hair from her face. "How are you feeling?" he asked with concern now filling his features.

"I'm sore," she states with a small smile.

"I bet you are," he said lacing his fingers with her's. "I have been so worried about you."

"I'm going to be fine," she said with a smile to help reassure him.

"I know you are."

"Speaking of fine how is everyone else?" she asked needing to know the condition of their friends.

He knew this was coming, he took in a deep breath and quickly let out. "All the guys are a little banged up, but they will be okay."

"That is great news," Gabby nodded her head.

"Yeah, and they will be happy to know that you are alert now, they have been waiting down the hall."

"I love them all, but they shouldn't be sitting around here, they should be at home with their families or something."

"I know, I told them the same thing, but they informed me that you are part of them family, so they aren't going anywhere until they knew you were okay."

Gabby had to smile, "Where is Shay?"

"She is…" before Matt could explain where Shay was at this moment, he was interrupted by a nurse coming in ready to check her vitals.

"Sorry to interrupt," the nurse says as she steps to the other side of Gabby's bed.

"No, it's fine," Matt states as he climbs off of the bed and stands next to Gabby. The nurse talks to them as she takes Gabby's vitals. "Well everything looks great and right where we want it to be. The doctor will be in soon to speak with you and answer any questions you might have."

"Thank you," Gabby said to the retreating nurse.

"No problem and just let me know if you need anything."

"We will and thank you," Matt said giving her a small smile and then taking his place next to Gabby again.

"Look at that you're a model patient," Matt teased.

"Just as long as I am out of here soon," She tells him with a roll of her eyes.

"Well we can ask the doctor how long he thinks you are going to need to stay here."

"Okay," Gabby agreed. "So back to my previous question, where is Shay?"

Author's note:

Thank you for reading this chapter, I hoped that you liked it and hope that you will read the next. I also want to say a huge thank you to everyone that has reviewed, followed, or favorited this story, it makes a difference knowing that you guys like it. I also want to say to all you wonderful authors out there, keep up the great work! There are so many stories that I am reading right now and I love them all. I hope you all have a great Sunday and I hope to update soon.

Thanks Garce


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Gabby," Matt's soft voice drifted through her sleep. She slowly opened her eyes to find him leaning in the doorway of their bedroom holding a cup of coffee. "Morning," he said moving closer to the bed.

"Morning," she greeted as she sat up with her back against the head board. "Is that for me," she nodded to the mug in his hand.

He looked down and then back over at her with a smirk on her face, "It is going to cost you," he replied.

"How much?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I can think of something," Matt mumbled as he leaned down and took control over his lips. Gabby placed her hand on the back of Matt's neck drawing him into a deeper kiss. Since Gabby had been released from the hospital three weeks ago their intimacy had been very limited, much to both of their dismay.

Gabby let out a sigh of frustration when Matt pulled back and then handed her the warm mug, "Are you excited to be back at 51?" he asked her as he crossed his arms.

Gabby nodded her head, "I'm happy to be working again, because sitting here unpacking has made me go a little stir crazy."

"I know being back on ambo isn't exactly what you wanted," Matt pointed out.

"It isn't, but until the doctors clear me for firefighter duty, I'll take what I can get," Gabby states as she takes a drink of her coffee.

"I hope that doesn't apply to all aspects of your life."

"Only the most important," Gabby replies with a slight chuckle. "But by the time, I get cleared hopefully Shay will be back and I'll be on my way to Austin."

Matt just gave Gabby a small smile, he knew that she wanted to become a firefighter and he wanted to follow all of her dreams, but something plagued in the back of his mind, an image he couldn't shake. He stood there a moment longer and watched her as she took another drink of her coffee.

Gabby set the cup on the nightstand and then stood up from the bed, "thank you," she said as she stood in front of him and placed another kiss on his lips. "I'm going to get in the shower, is there a chance you would like to join me?" Gabby asked as she wrapped her arms around Matt's waist.

"I would love to inspect your clean body, but I have to get something done before we leave for shift," Matt spoke as he ran his hand up and down her arms.

"Are you turning down sex?" Gabby's eyes grew wide with surprise.

"No," Matt stated. "I intend on taking full payment of that coffee at some point in the next twenty-four hours."

Gabby's playful expression changed to a more serious one, "Matt I know that a lot has happened since the explosion, but…"

Before Gabby could finish her sentence, Matt quickly cut her off, "this has nothing to do with that, well at first yes, but now no. I really need to make a few phone calls before we leave, but I promise I will make it up to you."

Gabby could tell by the look in his eyes that he was keeping something from her, she knew that right now wouldn't be the best time to push him about it. She took a deep breath and then placed a light kiss on his cheek, right now she needed to expect his answer and then over time work it out of him.

"Dawson!" everyone greeted the small burnet as she made her way inside the fire station with Matt right beside her. She had seen the guys when they came by and visited her at the hospital and at their apartment and she saw them at Molly's the couple of times she had been there since her injury, but today was different. Today she was back at her second home with her second family, a large part of her was excited to see everyone, but she was reminded that she was suppose be at Austin.

"Hey guys," Gabby said as they all came to give her a quick hug.

"We really missed you around here," Cruz said as he released her from his grip.

"Believe or not, I missed being here," Gabby smiled as she and the guys move forward towards the double doors leading to the inside of the house. Gabby took a deep breath as she took in the view of the common area, it still looked the same. She then turned down to the short hallway and went straight to the locker room. She quickly changed out of her clothes and into her work gear, it dawned on her that since Shay was gone, she didn't know who her new partner would be. _Crap, _she thought as she tucked in the back of her shirt, _anyone but McAuley._

"Dawson," She heard her name called through the locker room. She closed her eyes knowing that voice all to well.

"Over here Chout," She calls side stepping around the wooden bench and into the opening of the room.

"Are you ready to start stocking the rig?" he asked with excitement in his voice.

It took everything she had in her to not roll her eyes at him, "yeah, I'll be out there in a moment," she told him.

He gave a nod of understanding and a small smile, "I'll be out there waiting," he stated before walking out.

Gabby knew that she had to get through this. She had to do this for Shay, Chief, and the rest of house 51, no matter how much she wanted to be a firefighter right now. She took in a deep breathe and sting of pain crept up her side, she also needed to heal fully before she could become a firefighter.

Matt watched from the truck as Gabby moved through the garage to the ambo. He could tell something was off about her, but he couldn't help be relieved that with her here, he could keep an eye on her. Ever since he almost lost Gabby, he hasn't been able to shake that vision of finding her in all the rumble and watching her slip away from him. In that moment he was taken back to when he lost Hallie and how he felt and the only reason he was able to make through was because of Gabby. If Gabby would have died that day, he would have as well.

"Ambulance 61, Truck 81, Squad 3, and battalion 25, car accident on Whacker and Bemis," the alarms sounded through the fire house as all the men and women of 51 raced off in their vehicles and headed in the direction of the call.

Author's Note:

Hey everybody, I hope that you are all having a wonderful weekend. I plan on updating this story again at some point in the next couple of days, so I hope that you enjoyed this update. Thanks again for all the kind words; it is nice to know that you like the chapters.

Thanks,

Grace


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Author's Note: Hey all you lovely readers, I hope that you like this update. I want to give you all a great big shout out and say thank you for reading this story, it is really great to know that you like it.

Thanks,

Grace

At the end of shift, Gabby grabbed her things out of her locker and quickly changed out.

"Are you that anxious to get home?" Matt asked as he wrapped his arm around her waist and nuzzled into her.

"I was going to stop by and see Shay," Gabby smiles over at Matt as she shifts her bag on her other shoulder.

"So you don't wait to repay me for the coffee the other morning," he teases.

"I didn't say that. I just need to check up on Shay and see how she is doing; I know that since she almost died and everything else, she seems to be pushing everyone away and I'm just worried about her."

"I know we all are," he states taking in a deep breath. "When you see her, will you tell her that everyone misses her and would love to see her?"

Gabby nods her head in understanding what he was saying. She really did miss having her best friend. Her mind began to take her back to the day in the hospital when Matt told her about Shay and her injuries.

"_Matt where is Shay?" she asked again with almost ache in her voice knowing that whatever he was going to say was something she wasn't ready to hear. She could tell by the look on his face that he was trying to protect her, but she needed the truth more then his protection._

"_Shay has undergone emergency surgery for a ruptured spleen and internal bleeding in her stomach, she also suffered a traumatic brain injury, the doctors aren't sure the extent of her injuries until they run more test."_

_The world seems to have stopped in that moment has Gabby tries to wrap her mind around the information that was just shared with her. Feeling of worry, guilt, and nausea crept up from the pits of her stomach as her eyes watered, "I need to see her," Gabby said trying to sit up from the bed._

"_Gabby," Matt said her name with a soothing tone as he placed both hands on her shoulders. "Baby, you need to rest first."_

"_I need to see her," She tried again with more force in her voice and within her body to get up out of the bed. Pain instantly made its self known causing her to wince and suck in a mouth full of air. Gabby fell back into the mattress with tears streaming down her face, "She is my best friend Matt, I need to make sure she is okay," Gabby cried as she brought her hands to her face._

"_I know," Matt soothed as he wrapped her small frame into his arms. "And when you are able to, I will take you to go her, but right now you need to heal. Shay wouldn't want you to hurt yourself; she would want you to be safe."_

"What time do you think you will be home?" Matt asked as they walked out to their vehicles drawing Gabby back to the present.

"Oh, I should be home in a couple of hours or so," She stated as she looped her arm through his. "Why are you giving me a curfew?" Gabby asked with a raised eyebrow and a tone of teasing in her voice.

"No, Remember those phone calls I had to make yesterday morning?" Matt asked.

Gabby nodded her head, as she thought back to yesterday morning when she was trying to get him to shower with her.

"Well one of those was a repair job for later this afternoon in Bucktown. Some guy named Thompson needs to have his deck rebuilt, so I told him I would give him and estimate today at three."

"Oh, I thought that were making excusing," Gabby slipped out her sentence before she had time to realize what she had just said.

Matt stopped at the front of Gabby's car, "Why would I do that?" Matt asked with a questioning look on his features.

"I don't know," Gabby shrugged her shoulders. "I just thought that you were trying to come up with reasons."

"Reasons for what?"

Gabby looked around feeling uncomfortable that they were having this conversation in the street. "Can we talk about this when I get home?" Gabby asked feeling her cheeks becoming flushed.

"Yeah, fine," Matt sighed as he placed a kiss on the top of Gabby's head and then he walked off to his truck.

She watched as he opened the door and threw his bag in, "I love you," she called out as she opened her own car door.

"Love you too," he called back without turning around. He then jumped into his pickup, started the engine, and then drove off.

It didn't take long for Gabby to reach Shay and Severide's apartment. She parked the car across the street from the front door; she took a deep breath as she climbed out of her car and walked across the empty street. When she reached the glass wooden door, she hit the buzzard.

She waited a second before Severide answered the door, "Hey Dawson," he said pulling her into a hug.

"How is she doing?" Gabby asked as she stepped back from his embrace.

"She is getting better everyday," Severide tells her as he opens the door wider for her to walk in.

"That's great news," Gabby said walking past him and into the apartment. She looked around for Shay but found the living room and kitchen empty. "Where is she?"

"She is upstairs, I just helped her up there about five minutes ago," he said moving to the island in the kitchen. "You should go up there, she'll be happy to see you."

Gabby nods her head, "I will," she tells him as she walks over to the stairs and makes her way up them. Once she reaches the short hallway to the upstairs bedrooms, she goes directly to Shay's room and knocks on the closed door.

"Shay," she calls out her friend's name with a soft voice as she slowly opens the door, but Shay doesn't respond. Gabby slowly makes her way further into the room to find her blonde friend sleeping on her bed. "Shay," she calls again sitting the edge of the bed. She watches as Shay's eyes open, "hey," she smiles.

"Hi," Shay greets.

"How are you feeling?" Gabby asked.

"Oh you know sore, constant headaches, and all that great jazz," she replied as she slowly sat up.

"When is your next doctor's appointment?"

"Tomorrow," she replied clearing her throat and looking down at blanket, "Hopefully the doctors will say everything is healing just fine and I should be back to work soon."

"Yeah, we miss you around the house; you should stop by next shift."

"I'll think about it," she said with a nod of her head.

Gabby stayed with Shay for a little while longer, before she left. She could see that Shay was tried and needed her sleep. It hurt Gabby to see her friend still recovering after the explosion, but was happy to see that she was alive. She knew that it was hard for Shay to be at the house right now, because if she was there she would want to jump in and help. Shay always hated feeling useless and since the accident, that is how she has been feeling.

Matt had just gotten out of the shower, when he heard the front door of the apartment open up and his name being called.

"In here," he called out to her as he pulled a t-shirt over his head and walked out of the bathroom.

"Hi babe," Gabby said as she placed her bag on the couch and walked over to him.

He wrapped his arms around Gabby's waist and placed a kiss on her full lips, "How is Shay?" he asked.

"She is doing well, but I can tell that she is down and wants to be back at work," she says looking him in his blue eyes.

"I bet you can't wait for her to back too," Matt smiles at her.

"Yeah," Gabby agrees, "but it won't be for long. Once Shay is back and the doctor clears me, I'll be going to Austin."

Matt opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it knowing that right now was not the time to talk to Gabby about Austin.

"What?" Gabby asked knowing that there was something.

"Nothing," he tells her in hopes that she will let it go.

"Don't do that," Gabby says with traces of confusion on her face as she steps away from him. "Say whatever it is you want to say."

"I was going to say that may be staying at 51 wouldn't be such a bad thing," Matt tells her. "You could take sometime to really heal and completely get back in the swing of things."

"What is that suppose to mean?" she asked crossing her arms.

"Nothing, I just worry about you," he tells her as he runs his hands through his hair.

Gabby drops her hands from her chest and moves closer to him, "I know that you worry about me, I worry about you too, but I know what I am capable of. I just need to know that you are on my side."

Matt lets out a sigh as he places his hands on her shoulders, "I'm always on your side."

"Okay," Gabby said with a nod of her head and then she leaned up and placed a kiss on Matt's lips. She then stepped back, "Speaking of knowing what I am capable of, I would like to show you in the bedroom," Gabby smiled.

"Are you sure?" Matt asked as he slid his hands down her sides.

"Is that why you have been pushing me away every time we are about to have sex? You are worried that you're going to hurt me?"

"I just don't want to push you or you to push yourself if your body isn't ready."

"I love you for that, I really do. You need to trust me," She said as she began to kiss is jaw line and her hands began to roam his body.

"Okay," Matt said as he placed his hand under her chin drawing her lips to his and he walked them back into their bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

She could feel Matt's arm draped over her hip as her back was pressed against his chest as she woke to the morning light. She loved waking up like this; it made everything in her life feel right. A smile spread across her face as she thought about the last three weeks, she had been cleared by the doctors to begin her fire fighter career and Shay would be back on shift today. She knew that it was only a matter of time before she would move into her new role of Candidate on truck 66. She stretched her arms over her head as she thought about the day and to pull her self from the comfort of her bed.

"Someone is in a good mood," Matt states as he watches Gabby sit up with her back to him.

"Of course I am," She replied as she turned around with a smile on her face. She could hardly believe that everything was really starting to fall into place.

"Is it from all the great sex you been having?" Matt asked as he raised his head from the pillow and reached across to grab her and pull her back into bed.

Gabby laughed as he secured her body into his, "that is small part of it," she teased with laughter.

"Oh really?" Matt questioned as he pressed his lips against her's. He then began to trail kisses down her neck, causing Gabby to close her eyes and moan in pleasure.

"Matt," she managed to say his name as she felt his large hands to begin to roam her body. She loved mornings with him like this and hated the fact that she had to stop advances.

"Yeah," he mumbled against her skin without stopping his assault and allowing his hands to create small circles around her stomach. He loved the feel of her soft smooth skin.

"We really need to get ready for work," she stated doing her best to not allow her body to respond to his continuing advances.

"We can be late," he replies lifting his head with a bright smile and looking into her dark brown eyes.

"You can, but I can not. It is Shay's first day back and possibly my last. I really want everything to go smoothly."

Matt nodded his head; he understood why Gabby was so riled up to get to the fire house today. "Okay, but we will finish this later," he says as he places one last kiss on Gabby's full lips.

"No arguments here," she smiles as she climbs out of bed and rushes towards the bathroom.

It was wonderful to see Gabby so excited, but Matt was having a hard time with her becoming a firefighter. He knew that it sounded so hypocritical, since he was one himself, but after seeing her almost die in the explosion, he couldn't bare to lose her. He had tried so many times to tell her what he was feeling since the doctor told her she was cleared, but he didn't know how. He knew this was something that she really wanted, but he didn't.

He ran his hands over his face, trying to convince himself that what he was feeling was really nerves, but he knew better. Matt got out of bed and went directly into the kitchen to start on the pot of coffee for him and Gabby. He listened as the water ran in the bathroom and could hear singing from the shower. He had to smile as he started the coffee maker and began the short walk into the bathroom. He slowly pushed open the door as Gabby's voice grew louder with the song she was singing. He didn't say anything as he got undressed and joined her.

Matt and Gabby held hands as they walked up the drive to firehouse 51. Gabby quickly spotted Shay as she was saying hello to all of the guys. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes," Gabby shouted, causing the blonde to turn around and face her friend with a chuckle.

"I could say the same thing for you," Shay retorted pulling Gabby into a hug.

"It is great to have you back," Gabby smiled as she stepped back from the embrace.

"Well I hear it won't belong, since you got the free and clear from the doctor."

"Fingers cross that I actually get placed now," Gabby smiled.

"Well good news," Chief interrupted the group causing everyone to turn and look in his direction. "I just heard word that this will be Dawon's second to last shift here at 51," his eyes connected with her's, "then you will report to Austin."

Matt watched as everyone cheered for his girl, and he did right along with them, but a pang twitched in heart at the thought of his worst nightmare coming true. As much as he wanted to fight it, he had to talk to Gabby. He had to talk her out of this. He couldn't bar losing her the way he had lost Hallie.

Author's Note:

I realize that this chapter is extremely short and for that I apologize. I am hoping to update at some point this coming week and I promise the chapter will be much longer. I also have another story in the works. I want to thank you to all of you for everything and I hope that you will continue on this journey. Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Are you trying to avoid me?" Gabby asked as she entered Matt's office. She could see that he very focused on what he was doing.

He turned around from his paperwork with a serious expression across his features, "no, I have been really behind on these accident reports and chief is beginning to lose his patience with me."

"Is that your story?" Gabby smirked as she took on a seat on Matt's bed and tucked her hands underneath her legs. Her eyes begin to roam the sleeping area through the glass windows, "I am really going to miss this place," she said in a quite voice doing her best to keep her emotions in check. She didn't realize how this place had become her second home.

"You could always stay here," Matt told her as he placed his pen on the desk and turned his body so that he was completely facing her, he watched as her smile quickly faded away and her jaw instantly dropped at his words.

"I thought you said that you supported my decision on becoming a firefighter at Austin?" Gabby asked with confusion.

"I support you on anything you do; I just want you to be sure this is really what you want. After everything that you have been through, nobody could blame you if you changed your mind and stayed on 61 as PIC."

Gabby stood up from the bed and crossed her arms over her chest, she opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced by the alarm calling for ambulance 61. She immediately walked out of his office without saying anything to him. With each step she took towards the ambulance she couldn't believe what she had just listened to him say. He told her that he supported and in the same breath, he told her that she should just quit.

"Are you okay?" Shay asked as Gabby climbed into the rig with a solemn expression that spread across her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Gabby says as she buckles herself in.

Shay stares at her for a moment, not believing a word she just said.

"Let's go," Gabby says louder then she intended, she just needed to focus on anything other then Matthew Casey right now.

"Trouble in paradise?" Shay asks as she pulls out onto the street.

"You could say that," Gabby replies letting out a sigh of frustration.

The rest of shift Gabby kept her distance away from Matt, she knew that right now this was not the place to get into with him. As she grabbed her things out of her locker, she was half tempted to ask Shay and Severide for a lift home, but she knew that no matter who drove her home, she was going to have talk to Matt.

She closed her locker and grabbed her light brown bag from the wooden bench; she began to walk out of the locker room when she saw Matt approach her. "You ready to go?" he asked with an unsure tone in his voice.

"Yeah," Gabby said with a nod of her head. She didn't say anything else to Matt as they walked out of the firehouse.

They both climbed into his truck and buckled themselves in, "do you want to stop for breakfast?" Matt asked as he pulled away from the curb.

"No," Gabby replied without looking at him as she looked out the window.

"So we are going to talk about this when we get home?"

"Yes," she answered with a quick reply.

Matt knew not say anymore to her right now. He knew when the words left his mouth earlier that he was going to start a battle with her. He rubbed his hand over his face just waiting for the moment they closed the door to their apartment.

Once the truck was parked, Gabby quickly took her things and made her way inside. She placed her bag on the table and took off her coat. She then turned around to find Matt closing the door and placing his bag on the floor.

"Say it," Gabby said in a low voice as she crossed her arms over her chest. She wanted him to actually tell her what he was thinking.

"Say what?" Matt looked puzzled knowing exactly what she was talking about. He was tried from shift and really didn't want to get into this right now.

"You never wanted me to be a fire fighter and now I want to hear you say it," Gabby raised her voice.

"Can we please talk about this after we have both got some sleep?"

"No, we are going to talk about this right now. This whole time you have been telling me that I would make a great fire fighter, but really you don't want me to be one."

"You are twisting my words," Matt shouted with annoyance in his voice.

"Am I really? We both know what you were trying to say in your office today."

"What do you want from me Gabby?"

"I want the truth."

"Okay," Matt said with his voice now matching her's. "I don't want you to be a fire fighter! After seeing you almost die in that explosion, it scares that shit out of me that I could lose you in the same way that I lost Hallie. I can't go through it again and I won't. Are you happy now?"

Gabby's eyes grew wide at Matt's words, "What do you mean that you won't?"

"Gabby I love you, but I can't be put in that same position of losing someone I love. If you are so hell bent on being a fire fighter, then don't let me stop you, but you will do it without me."

"Are you giving me an ultimatum?" she asked with more anger then she thought she had.

"Yes, our relationship or fire fighting."

Gabby didn't say anything as she nodded her head; she took a step towards Matt, but stopped. She then turned and grabbed her bag, coat, and keys from the table, without a word she brushed past Matt, opened the door and left.

Author's note; 

Hello, I hope you are all doing well and are just as excited as I am for tomorrow night's episode. I want to say thank you for reading this story and hope that you are enjoying it. Please let me know what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Gabby pulls her car in front of the familiar apartment building; she takes a deep breath as she wipes away the tears that have been falling since she left. So many things had crossed her mind, had she been selfish for following her dreams? Could her Matt work this out? What was she going to do now? She began to fill lightheaded as her mind continued to race in circles with these never ending questions. She slowly took her keys out of the ignition as she gave her a small pep talk. She reached across the street and grabbed her bag and purse and then opened the door. As much as she didn't want to explain what she was doing here, she knew she was going to have to. As she walked closer to the door, she could fill her bile begin to build up in her stomach, knowing that if Matt and her couldn't find a way to work this out, this was the conversation was one she was going to have to have with everyone she knew. The worst part of it all, she knew the more people she told, the more it would make it feel real.

She knocked on the door with a light knock hoping that Shay or Severide would quickly answer. She waited a few seconds before knocking again and within a moment Severide opened the door with a smile on his face and a beer in his hand, "Dawson," he said with his smiling disappearing as he took in her appearance.

"Is Shay home?" Gabby asked doing her best not to let tears fall.

"Yeah," he said as he nodded his head and opened the door wider. "Come on in and I'll get her."

Gabby shoved her hands into her coat pockets and moved past Severide. She looked around to find Shay sitting on the couch watching TV, "Who is it?" Shay asked turning around to find Gabby standing in the kitchen.

"Hey," Shay said as she stood up from the couch and walked over to her best friend. She could tell that something was off with her Gabby, her eyes were fighting back tears, and she was biting her lower lip, and trying her best to avoid eye contact. "What is it?" Shay asked with confusion on her face.

"Casey and I are over," Gabby said as her voice broke.

Shay instantly pulled her into a hug, "It is going to be okay." She then looked up at Severide, whose expression read one of complete surprise.

Gabby nodded her head as she stepped away, "I need a place to stay."

"Say no more," Shay said. "You can stay with us as long as you want."

"Yeah, you can have Otis' old room," Severide added.

"Thanks Guys," Gabby said as she wiped her face with the back of her hand.

Three Weeks Later

Matt sat at the head of the table reading the morning newspaper doing his best to look busy or just trying to show everyone he was fine. After his break up with Gabby, he could see the looks of sadness on everyone's face, he knew that they all meant well, but he didn't needed to be reminded of what he loss. He knew the moment she left their apartment what he had done and since the moment it came out of his mouth he regretted it. There were so many times he went to pick up the phone to call her and tell her that he was sorry, but he was stopped by the fact that she chose being a firefighter over him.

The hardest day was when he came home from his shift; he found all of her things boxed up. She left him a note on the table telling him she thought it would be easier if she did this when he wasn't here and that tomorrow Antonio and Severide would be over to get the rest of her things. He remembered walking into the bedroom that they shared and on the nightstand where she kept her lotions and jewelry, it was empty. Tears sprang to his eyes as he sat on the bed where she use to lay and reached for her pillow, he brought it to his face and breathed in her scent. It hit him hard that she was gone and not coming back. That night he drank more then he had since he was in his early twenties.

He was brought of his thoughts when he heard his name being called. He set the newspaper down to find Severide sitting in the chair next to him. "So a couple of the guys and I were thinking of having a poker night tomorrow, you in?"

"Where is it going to be?" Matt asked already knowing the answer.

"At my place," Severide said.

"Thanks for the offer, but…"

Before he could finish his sentence Kelly quickly cut him off, "Dawson isn't going to be around, she is bartending at Molly's with Otis."

"This has nothing to do with Gabby," Matt says knowing that it has everything to do with Gabby.

"Whatever you say, but Matt you can't hide away forever. You two have the same mutual friends you guys are bound to cross paths."

"I know that," Matt says as he runs his hands over his face. "Alright fine, what time do I have to be there?"

"Around 8," Kelly told him.

Matt nodded his head and then he cleared his throat knowing that he had no business to ask his next question, "How is she doing?"

"She is…" Severide searched for his words, "She is Dawson, you know? She really doesn't say much when she is home and when she does it's usually about work or Molly's."

Matt nodded his head again, "thanks man."

"No problem," Severide gets up from the table and looks around the empty room. He then turns back around to see confusion on Matt's face. "You should call her," and with that Kelly turns again and leaves the kitchen area.

Through the whole night of serving beers, Gabby felt sick to her stomach. She told Hermann to keep his sick self home the other day, but he made a big fuss about the new shipment of beer coming in. With each movement behind the bar, the nausea made its self known.

"Otis," Gabby called him over as she threw the rag into the sink.

"Yeah," he turned to face her as he placed two beers on the counter for the costumers.

"I'm not feeling so hot right now. Would you mind if I took off?"

Otis looked around the bar at the fifteen or so patrons, "go home."

"Thanks," Gabby said with a small smile. She went into the back room and gathered her things. She quickly put on her coat and took her keys out of her purse. She just wanted to go home and sleep in bed. The drive back didn't take too long and as Gabby opened the door to the apartment, she heard laughter coming from inside. She took her jacket off and walked into the kitchen area to find Capp, Tony, Severide, Cruz, and Casey playing a game of cards. The room became silent as her heart froze as she made eye contact with Matt.

"Dawson?" Severide asked with confusion on his face. "What are you doing home so early?"

Gabby cleared her throat and turned her gaze from Matt to Kelly, "I umm… I wasn't feeling well, so I decided to come home," she said as she wiped the beads of sweat from her forehead.

"You don't look so good," Severide said as he noticed how pale her skin was.

"I don't feel good. So I'm going to go to bed and hopefully break this fever before shift tomorrow. Bye guys and good luck with your game," Gabby said with a wave of her hand as she quickly moved towards the stairs and began to climb up them.

It took everything in Matt to not follow her to make sure she was okay. He could feel an awkwardness come over the group of men as they waited for someone to break the silence. He opened his mouth to tell the guys to play, but Severide beat him to it.

They played a few more hands before calling it a night. As Matt put on his jacket to leave, he look over to the stairs hoping that Gabby would come down and tell him to take her home with him, but she never came. He knew that he had made the bed he was in and now he had to lie in it.

Author's Note:

Thank you for all reviews! I also wanted to say that I can't wait for the new episode this week. I saw the sneak peaks and it looks good!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Gabby grabbed her bag from the back seat of her car. She took a deep breath as she closed the door and walked up the dive of her new firehouse. A wave of nausea swept past her as she made her way inside, she wasn't sure if it was from the flu that she fought off the other night or was it the fact that she hated this place. She knew that she wanted to become a fire fighter and she didn't regret her decision, but since arriving at Austin she has been at the hands of sexist men that only found her to be useful in the kitchen and cleaning the bathrooms. She had been at Austin for a while now and she thought that with time, they may actually give her chance, but that wasn't the case.

She walked through the garage without anyone saying anything to her; this was the normal morning routine. She made her way to the locker room; she quickly put in the combination and opens the metal door. She took her work clothes out of her bag and placed the rest of her belonging in the locker. She locked her stuff back up and made her way towards the bathroom stall to change her clothes. She had made the mistake of changing in the open, but quickly learned from her mistake as all the guys made it well known what parts of her body they really liked.

As Gabby changed in the confines of the stall, her phone altered to a text message from Shay.

_Hey we are all meeting at Molly's tonight._

Gabby rolled her eyes knowing that Shay knew she was working. She typed back with annoyance, _I'm on shift!_ She then placed her phone into her pocket and gathered her clothes into her hands.

As she was going back to her locker, she could see a couple of the guys on the other side of the door, laughing. She knew that whatever they were saying was directed at her. She ignored them as she continued to put her things away.

"Dawson," Welch's voice called out to her. She turned around to face, "Once you're done primping in the mirror, we all need you out here to cook us hard working firemen a decent breakfast." Gabby had to bite her tongue, and just gave him one slight nod and tried to move past him, but he blocked her way. "Aren't you going to say yes sir?" he smirked. "I'm sure that if I was Casey, you wouldn't have a problem with it."

Gabby's jaw tightens and her eyes narrowed what she wouldn't give to punch him. "Sir, I'm going to need you to move in order for me to make you all breakfast," she replied in a low tone. Welch chuckled as he moved to the side to allow her to pass by him.

"So are you coming to Molly's tonight?" Severide asked Matt over the phone. Matt parked his truck in front of his next construction job. Matt hesitated to answer him; he had been keeping his distance from Molly's out of respect for Gabby. "She won't even be there, she is on shift tonight," Severide added knowing why Matt wouldn't show.

"That is what you said the other night," Matt pointed out with annoyance in his voice.

"Matt you're not going to be able to avoid her forever."

"Alright," Matt sighed as he ran his free hand through his blonde hair, "I will try to make it out tonight."

"At a boy," Severide exclaimed. "See you around 8."

"Yeah, fine," Matt said into the phone and then hung up. He sat in the truck a moment longer before climbing out. His mind kept drifting to Gabby, ever since he saw her the other night, he ached for her. He knew that this being apart was stupid and right now they were just being stubborn, but he also knew that he needed to give her space and let her become a firefighter first.

The alarms sounded off as Gabby had just put away left over from breakfast. Everyone raced towards the truck grabbing their gear, she quickly followed them. When they arrived on scene of the building fire, people were standing on the street watching as flames ripped through the structure.

All the members of truck 66 climbed out and waited orders from Chief Cross. He instructed Welch and truck to complete a sweep through of the entire house. Welch handed out orders to Milano and Davis, "Dawson you are on my hip," he said as he placed his mask on, Gabby did the same. She followed him inside the burning building as they searched for victims. The flames roared loudly as they moved along the bottom floor, but as Welch took a step towards the stairs, a loud snap was heard and beam from the ceiling came crashing down.

"Lieutenant!" Gabby screamed as she tried to reach him, but she was too late the beam fell on him pinning him to the ground. "Lieutenant!" she called again as she moved around to him, so that she was able to check his pulse. Relieve washed over her when she found one. "This is Dawson on the first floor, firefighter down. I repeat firefighter down," she spoke into her radio. She looked around knowing that she didn't have enough time to get them both out of here safely. She tried to lift the beam up, but it was too heavy, she then looked around the room again, seeing a long tick pipe that must have fallen from the ceiling as well. She wedged the pipe under the beam, and pushed her weight down hoping that it would allow enough lift to get Welch out. She could fill the beam begin to lift, so she pushed down harder this time she could see the beam come off him. She held her weight on the pipe as Davis and Milano came in. They both looked at her and then at Welch, who still lay on their unconscious. The pulled him out of the rumble and Gabby let go of the pipe. She rushed over and grabbed Welch's feet and the other two carried him by his upper arms and chest to the waiting paramedics.

She watched as they loaded him into the back of the ambulance, still unconscious. She stood there a moment, knowing that feeling all to well, each member of truck 66 looking at each other. Milano was the first one to speak, "You did well in there Dawson," he said as he took off his hat and made his way to the waiting truck.

Gabby didn't say anything, but she could feel that all the guys were looking at her differently now. They continued to sit in silence as their truck raced to hospital to find out how bad Welch's injuries were. Even though the guy had been a complete asshole to Gabby since the moment they meant, it didn't mean she wanted him dead.

They sat at the hospital for a couple of hours waiting on some news, each person lost in their own thoughts. Davis a short dark haired man moved from his sit on the far wall and sat next to Gabby. "I know that we haven't been the most accepting group towards you, but I want you to know that you did everything you could in there."

"Thanks," Gabby said with a shake of her head. Since the moment the beam came down, so many questions raced through her mind, she just hopped that everything was going to be okay.

"Are you all here for Lt. Welch?" the doctor asked stepping into the waiting room. Everyone was instantly to their feet. "Lt. Welch has made it out of surgery and we expect him to make a full recovery. He had some internal bleeding, which we were able to repair."

Everyone broke out in relief to hear the good news. They were going to wait until he woke up, but Chief Cross instructed the crew to head back to the station. Gabby looked around to all the guys as no one really wanted to leave, but they knew they had to follow orders. As her eyes meant everyone's she could as they looked back at her something changed. She couldn't place her finger on it, but she thought she saw a since of gratitude, even some respect.

After almost losing their Lieutenant, truck 66 was not called to another scene for the rest of shift. Everyone kept to themselves as they sat somberly waiting for something, it wasn't until Gabby was getting to leave, that she was stopped by some of guys.

"Hey Dawson," Milano called as she walked past them.

Gabby's face morphed into confusion as she walked over to him a few of the other guys.

"We wanted to say thank you for everything you did, you really saved his life."

"Its part of the job," Gabby replied not really understanding what was happening.

"We know, but we have been making this job difficult for you and we are sorry for that," Davis added.

Gabby didn't say anything, she simply nodded her head. She didn't know what to say after hearing them apologize to her.

"So we'll see you next shift," Milano said with a small smile.

"Yeah, see you next shift," Gabby said as she turned and walked to her car.

She made it to her car; she smiled as she started her engine. She couldn't believe what happened today, she reached for her cell phone to call Shay, but soon realized that she was starting shift change. She then set her phone back in the passenger seat and put the car into gear.

As Gabby drove home, the smile that has been pasted on her face from the moment she climbed into her vehicle didn't disappear, she even caught herself signing along with the song on the radio. She continued to sing as the light turned red, she waited a few minutes until the light turned back to green. She started to go forward, but before she could clear the intersection, another car collided with her's.

"Cruz what are you making for lunch?" Mouch asked from his normal spot on the couch.

"Just want and see," he replied as he stirred the pot on the stove.

"Ambulance 61, car accident," The bells sounded.

Author's note:

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you are all enjoying this day with your family and friends. I also want to say thank you for all the kind reviews and to everyone that has read this story, it is a great feeling to know that you care about this story. I also feel the need to add, that this week's episode pissed me off. I felt that it was so out of character for Dawson to high five herself after disobeying Casey's orders. Through the last three years of the show, anytime some one has complimented her, she has modestly said thank your or shrugged it off, she has never tooted her own horn. I feel that the writers didn't need to do that in order to draw up more drama for this couple, they have enough going on. Sorry, I needed to vent. Hope you like the update, I plan on updating a couple more times this weekend.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"We need to get to Chicago Med as fast as we can!" Shay told Brett the new girl on ambo. The younger blonde nodded her head as she closed the back doors and raced around to the driver's side. Shay could feel the ambulance began to move forward as she began to work on the dark haired patient on the gurney in front of her. Shay watched as the woman's vitals began to crash, "How much longer?"

"Two minutes," Brett responded as she turned the rig right onto the street of the hospital.

Shay began to charge the deliberator, knowing that if she didn't react fast, then this woman wouldn't be able to survive.

"Charging to 100," Shay called out as she pressed the paddles to the woman's chest and the body jerked forward. Shay looked to the monitor to see that it was still flat. "Charging to 150," she called again and repeated the same actions as before, but there was still no response. Shay repeated the process until the rig came to a complete stop; she tried one more time as the back doors flew open. Luckily, a heartbeat registered on the monitor, "Move her," Shay sounded as Brett and the waiting doctor and nurses pulled the gurney down to the ground.

Shay jumped down and followed closely behind and explained to the doctors what had happened in the rig. "Thanks," one of the nurses said as she looked back at Shay before going into any further down the hall. Shay was glad the woman had a fighting chance. She turned back around to the nurses' station to begin filling out the paper work. As she stood there a moment, she saw another ambulance pull up into the bay. She watched as another set of nurses and doctor's raced towards the vehicle. She watched as the unloaded the victim and began to race towards her; she could see red all over the victim and the EMT that had been working on her patient. Shay looked up at the EMT and knew that look all to well; it was the look of remorse for he couldn't do for the patient.

"27 year old female, hit on the diver side. She was responsive on scene but loss conciseness on the way here. Her name is Gabriela Dawson."

Shay froze as she realized what the paramedic had just said; she stood still as they raced past her. She looked down to find Gabby, her best friend, laying there with blood covering her face. She watched as they flew past her down the same hallway they had just taken her patient.

"Miller," Shay called to get the paramedic's attention. He looked up and Shay standing there with tears building in her eyes. "Did you say that was Dawson?"

He looked down at his feet unable to look her in the eye.

"Damn it, answer me!" she yelled needing to hear the words.

"Shay, I'm so sorry," he began to say knowing that they were close.

"How bad is it?" she asked.

"It's bad Shay, it's really bad," he told her with a somber tone and expression on his face.

She felt like all the air in the room had been sucked right out and her mind began to race with every question she could possibly think of. "I need to call Chief," she said as she walked out of the hospital to fresh air of outside and her fingers scrolled through her contacts.

Boden couldn't believe what Shay had just told him as he set his phone back down, he knew that he had to tell his men right away. He walked out of his office and into the common area; he watched a moment as the men sat relaxed around the table ready to eat. Tears threatened to fall, but he chocked them back knowing that right now his men were going to need a strong leader, his eyes then landed on Casey who was talking with Otis. He knew that this was going to hit him the hardest.

"Can I have everyone's attention," he called out as he stood in the middle of the room. He looked around at all of the men as they turned to face him. "I just received a call from Shay," he paused as he tried to find his words. He watched as everyone's expression change in an instant, "there is no easy way to say this, but as 61 was leaving the hospital another accident victim was brought in…it was Dawson."

"Is she okay?" Severide asked knowing that he was asking for everyone, but mostly Casey.

"She was involved in car accident on her way home. We don't know anymore then that, but from what Shay had told me it doesn't look good."

Matt knew the moment Chief walked into the room, whatever he had to say wasn't good news. Once he spoke Gabby's name, Matt felt like the whole world had just collapsed around him. He quickly got to his feet and walked past the chief feeling every pair of eyes on him. He needed to go to her, he needed to see her and apologize for everything her said that last night they were together. He needed her to know that he still loved her and wanted to be with her.

"Casey," he heard his name being called out to him as he reached his truck. But before Matt could climb in, he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders causing him to stop.

"Let me go!" Matt yelled as he tried to get out of Severide's grip. "I need to go to the hospital. I need to know what is happening."

"I know, but I'm going to drive," he said as he placed out his hands. Matt gave him his keys and walked around to the passenger side of his truck.

The car ride to the hospital was silent, Matt could only focus on the last conversation he had with Gabby. He told her that it was going to be the job or him, he didn't mean it, and he was just angry and worried for her safety. If he could go back in time and take back what he had said to her, he would in a heart beat. He loved her and couldn't imagine his life without her in it. Tears began to build in front of his blue eyes as his thoughts continued on.

He felt the truck come to complete stop, he looked around to find that they were parked in front of the hospital. Matt quickly got out of the truck and raced to the entrance of the hospital. He found Shay sitting there in the waiting room as tears streamed down her face.

"Shay," he said as he went to her.

She instantly stood up from the hard chair and went in Matt.

"What have the doctors said?" he asked afraid of what her answer might be.

"I don't know, no one has come out to say anything."

"Did you call Antonio?" he asked knowing that Gabby's family would want to be here.

"Yeah, he is on his way," she replied with nod of her head.

"How did this happen?" Matt asked as he let his tears fall for the first time since finding out about the accident. "I can't lose her Shay," he says as his voice cracks.

"I know," Shay replies as she pulls him into a hug. Over Matt's shoulder she watches as Severide now joins them.

"I should have gone to her weeks ago and told her everything," Matt continued.

"Hey man, it's not too late," Severide says as he places his hand on the back of Matt's shoulder. "She is still here, she is still alive."

Matt wanted to believe his words, but he knew that they might not be true. They didn't know anything about Gabby's condition. The only thing that he knew was he was not leaving here until her saw her with his own two eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

As the wait grew longer, members of house 51 began to show up to the hospital to offer their support, each one would quietly take a seat not daring to make an attempt to speak. It amazed Matt how many times they have waited in this room, but it still did not make any easier, especially this time. His attention went to the door when he saw a dark haired man walking towards him. He instantly got to feet, drawing the attention of some of his co-workers as he did so.

"Hey man," Antonio said as he pulled Matt into a hug. "Any word on my sister?" he asked with pleading eyes.

"Nothing yet, no body has come out to tell us anything," Matt says moving his eyes to his feet for a moment and then back up to Antonio. "I don't know what Gabby has told you," Matt began to say, he felt like he needed to explain why he and Gabby were not together right now.

"It doesn't matter," Antonio said cutting him off. "The only thing that matters is that you are here when she needs you the most."

"I do really love her and I'm not going anywhere," Matt added.

"I know, and she loves you too. She is just too damn stubborn," Antonio patted Matt on his back. "I'm going to call Laura and the kids to let them know about Gabby, I didn't want to say anything until I got here."

"I'll let you know if the doctors come out," Matt told him. Antonio thanked him as he moved to the other side of the room and took out his cell phone.

Matt began to pace the waiting room; he couldn't handle sitting still anymore, he felt like he was loosing his mind. He had spent his whole life helping other people, rescuing them from the jaws of death and now he felt utterly helpless to protect the most important person in life.

"Excuse me Lieutenant Casey," a man said bringing Matt out of his thoughts and into the present world. He recognized the man from House 105. He then looked behind the man to see a group of fire fighters standing in the opening of the waiting room. "We work with Dawson at 105. We wanted to come here and show our support and ask if there is anything we can do."

Matt was confused as to why they were actually here, he knew that it was based on common curtsey, but he knew how they felt about Dawson. Matt could tell that he didn't hide how he was feeling because the man in front of him began to explain, "I know that we haven't always been that warm to Dawson, but it doesn't mean that we want her to be hurt. To tell you the truth if it wouldn't have been for her and her quick thinking Welch would have died the other day."

A sense of pride began to build up in Casey as he thought about Dawson saving the day as a fire fighter. Any feeling of happiness for Matt was short lived, when he saw the doctor walking down the hallway towards the waiting room. His heart stopped beating with each step she took. He didn't know how to read the expression on her face, which was making it harder for him to breath.

"Family of Gabriela Dawson," the doctor said as she stopped and looked around the room to all the waiting faces.

"I'm her fiancée," Matt said knowing that wasn't the whole truth, but he didn't think it really mattered at this point. Antonio moved to the other side of Matt and folded his arms over his chest.

She nodded her head, "Ms. Dawson has suffered from a lacerated spleen, a punctured lung due to a broken rib as well as some other internal bleeding and a concussion. We have been able to stabilizer her, however her condition is serious."

"When can I see her?" Matt asked.

"Mr," she paused not knowing his name.

"Casey," Matt told her instantly.

"Mr. Casey, there is more I need to tell you."

Matt could tell by the look on her face that whatever she was about to say was going to break him. He just needed to know that Gabby was alive, everything else was second.

"Due to the extent of Ms. Dawson's injuries we were unable to save the fetus."

"The fetus?" Matt asked almost choking on the words the doctor had just used before him. He was unsure if he heard her right.

The doctor closed her eyes for a brief moment and then looked back at him, "You didn't know did you?"

"Know what?" Matt asked already knowing the answer, but he actually needed to hear the words. He needed to hear the doctor use the word pregnant.

"Ms. Dawson was about seven weeks pregnant. I'm so sorry for your loss," the doctor told him.

Matt couldn't feel anything, his body went completely numb and everything went around him was in slow motion. Tears began to weld up in his blue eyes, he could the doctor's mouth moving, but couldn't make since of anything she was saying. "I need to see her," Matt finally got out.

"Mr. Casey, I don't think"

Matt quickly cut her off, "I need to see my fiancée now. I need to see her."

The doctor simply nodded her head, "follow me," she said as she turned around. Matt did as she asked, she led him down a long white hallway past a set of double doors, Matt could hear her talking to him, but he couldn't focus on anything he had to say. He lost his child today and almost lost his fiancée, nothing this woman has to say could make it any better. She stopped in front of a door that led into a room with curtain drawn up. Matt stepped into the room and past the curtain to find Gabby lying there completely still. Bruises and small cuts covered her face, a tube was placed down her throat, and a bandage was wrapped around her head.

Matt took the seat next to Gabby's bed and took her hand. He lightly kissed her knuckle and for the first time since learning of the accident, he broke down. He cried for the loss of their child, he cried for almost losing her, and he cried for all the time they wasted being apart.

Author's Note:

Don't hate me! I really thought about Gabby dying, but I have direction in mind for this story, so if she died it would really mess it up. Thank you for reading this story!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Matt stopped watching the clock a long time ago. When he first arrived in Gabby's room his eyes would glance over to the ticking reminder every few minutes, it just reminded him that she wasn't waking up fast enough. Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours, he still hadn't left her side. No matter how many times Shay and Antonio came into the room to relieve him, he refused. He needed to be with her the moment she opened her eyes, he needed to tell her that he was sorry and that he was never leaving her again, but most importantly he needed to tell her about the loss of their child.

Every time his mind would wonder to the life that was once inside of Gabby, tears would build up in eyes again. For so long he wanted to be a father, and there it was, right in front of him, the life he had been wanting and waiting for. In just a moment, it was all taken away from him; he hadn't even known that it was with in his grasp.

Matt ran his hands over his face and eyes, as he stood up from his seat and walked over to the hospital window on the other side of the room. He folded his arms over his chest as he peered over the Chicago skyline. He could see the cars moving through the busy streets and could see all the people walking along through their normal work day. He envied those people, the ones below him that were ignorant to what was happening right above them. They didn't know of the loss he felt right now and the pain of possibly losing the woman he loved after already losing Hallie. Somehow he wanted the world to feel his pain and sorrow, for them to stop living like he has that way when Gabby does finally open her eyes nothing has changed.

Matt was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard someone clear their throat behind him he turned around to see Antonio. His eyes were red and Matt recognized the emotions that were displayed on his face, they matched his.

"Any change?" he asked stepping further into the room.

"The doctors were in her a little bit ago and said that she should be awake soon. They removed the tube, but she is still on oxygen," Matt told him as he moved back to his spot next to Gabby. He hated seeing her look so bruised and still.

"How are you doing?" Antonio asked looking from his sister's still form to Matt.

Matt didn't know how to answer such a simple question, "I'm doing my best to deal with everything."

"It is a lot for anyone to handle."

"I just need," he paused for a second taking Gabby's hand, "I just need her."

"Matt, I know I can only understand a part of what you are going through, but I want you to know my sister loves you, she always has. Whatever happened between the two of you, you guys will work through it."

"Did she know about the baby?" Matt asked.

"If she did, she never told me," Antonio answered truthfully.

"I ask the doctors to let me be the one to tell her about the baby," Matt said with a hitch in voice. "But the problem is I have no idea what I'm going to say. How do I tell her that?"

"I don't know, but you will find the words and I know that you will be there to hold her because she is going to need more then ever."

Antonio stayed a little while longer before he got called back to the District, Matt knew that he wanted to stay and be here, but he was working on a big case. Matt promised to call him if there was any change in Gabby's condition. Throughout the rest of the day members of house 51 showed up to the hospital to let Matt know that they were thinking of him and Gabby. The offered to sub Matt out, but he refused each offer. He knew that everyone meant well, but he had to stay.

After a long of day of visits, his eyes grew heavy as he took a seat next. His head leaned back in the chair as he folded his arms of his chest. He could feel himself begin to give into sleep, at first he did his best to fight it off, but there was no use the sleep soon took over his whole body.

Gabby could hear the sound of beeping in the far distance of her mind, her first instinct was to turn it off but as she tried to move her body began to ache with pain. She then tried to open her eyes, but the light was too bright, she quickly shut them again. She slowly opened her eyelids this time, as her eyes began to look around the unfamiliar room, panic almost coursed through her body, but as she looked to her right, she saw Matt sleeping in a chair. She almost relaxed just by the sight of him, but when she went to say his name, her throat was completely dry and barely a sound came out.

"Matt," she whispered again in a low voice hoping that he would somehow hear her and wake up. She tried one more time, with as much force as she could gather. She watched as his body began to shift and his eyes opened up to look directly at her.

"Gabby," he spoke her name as he lifted his body from the uncomfortable chair and moved to her. At first he thought he was dreaming, but when he touched her hand he knew that this was real. He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let her go, but he quickly reminded that they were no longer together. "How are you feeling?" he asked taking a seat next to her, but giving her enough room.

"I need some water," she replied with evident pain in her voice. Matt looked around the room to find his Styrofoam cup of water that Shay got him a while ago, he reached over to the table next to the bed and bent the straw so that it was easier for Gabby to drink. She took a few small gulps of water, but her eyes never left his. Once Gabby was done drinking, Matt placed the cup back on the table, "I should go get the nurse," he stated as he looked back at her. He got to his feet to hit the call button on the far side wall.

Gabby watched from her place in the bed, "What happened?" she finally asked as Matt made his way back to the side of her bed.

"You don't remember?" he asked with concern all over his face.

"I remember driving home from shift, but after that everything is a blur," she explains trying her best to remember exactly what happened.

"Another car hit your car as you drove through the intersection," Matt told her. Before Matt could elaborate on the extent of her injuries an older looking nurse walked into the room. She introduced herself to Gabby and began to take her vitals. As the nurse was taking Gabby's blood pressure, Dr. Arodia walked into the room.

He looked over her chart and then explained her injuries to her and how they were able to repair them. Dr. Arodia didn't take a break to make sure how Gabby was handling the news; he just spoke with a matter a fact tone. Matt always hated this doctor, but he watched as Gabby nodded her head to show that she understood what he was saying.

"We are going to keep you here for a couple of days and as long as everything heals the way we want it to, then you will be released to go home on bed rest."

Gabby nodded her head again; she knew that there was no way she was going back to work anytime soon.

Dr. Arodia excused himself and so did the nurse, leaving Matt alone with Gabby. He waited a second to hear the door close before he spoke. "How are you doing with all this?" he asked. He could tell that there was something bothering her from the moment the doctor walked in.

"I guess it could be worse," she replied slowly as everything was still settling in.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" he asked moving closer to her bed.

She shook her head no and then her eyes dropped to her hands in her lap. She sat there silent before speaking again, "Matt I need to ask you a question."

"Okay," Matt replied unsure of what she was going to say, "Ask me anything you want."

"What are you doing here?"

Author's Note:

I need to rant for a moment; I was absolutely pissed about the fall finale! I hate how they are taking two great people and making them do things out of character just for the sake of drama (Dawson high fiving herself for breaking orders, Casey sleeping at another woman's house, and Dawson trying to pretend like she didn't remember what she said to Mills). We all knew that there was going to be problems when Dawson joined truck, but all the shit that is coming from it is ridiculous. I feel since the moment the writers got them together, they have been doing everything to slowly break them up. I honestly don't think they know what to do with them as a couple. And for anyone that tells me, it is something all shows do, you are right. However, One Tree Hill was on air for nine years and from the first season they were able to keep Haley and Nathan together. If a show that is based on teen drama can figure it out, so can Chicago Fire! Also I would like to point out the fact that if Dawson and Casey actually break up, wouldn't that make it more awkward to work together as Candidate and Lieutenant on the same damn truck?

Here is what I would like to see happen, Dawson puts in a transfer to another house. This is will demonstrate to Casey, that she loves him more than anything else (Which she has said a thousand times) and she is putting their relationship first. Casey needs to realize that he is responsible for their problems just as much as she is. He is the one that wouldn't communicate with her and then through it in her face.

Sorry, I had to get that out! I hope that you enjoyed this update.

Thanks,

Grace


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Matt remained puzzled as Gabby's question coursed through his body. He immediately froze unsure of how to answer her. He knew what she was asking, but there so much to say to her that he was lost in his own mind.

"Why are you here? Is the better question," Gabby said with an uneven tone in her beautiful voice. She could feel herself begin to break under his stare. She just needed to hear him tell her why he was really here.

"Gabby," Matt began to say but was quickly cut off by her voice.

"You told me that we were over and now you're here holding my hand telling me everything is going to okay, when in truth we haven't spoken in weeks." Gabby took a deep breath, "I need to know what changed for you?"

"Since the moment you left that night, I regretted saying that to you and if I could go back and change that night I would. There were so many times I wanted to call you just so I could hear your voice."

"But you didn't," She pointed out with another crack to her voice and tears began to fall from her brown eyes. "You never called and when you did see me, you would quickly turn away."

"I know and I'm so sorry baby," he said rushing towards her and grabbing both sides of her face. He needed her to see him; he needed her to look into his eyes to know that he was telling the truth. "My pride and fear got in the way off it all. I should have never made you choose. I see that now and you will never know how sorry I am."

Gabby couldn't hold his stare anymore, she had to turn and look away, but his voice brought her back to him. "There is something else I need to tell you," he said dropping his hands from the sides of her face to her hands. He took in a deep breath, knowing that his next confession would be the one to break her heart completely. "At the time of the accident," Matt paused, "You were pregnant," Matt watched as Gabby's eyes grew wide and her mouth slightly dropped open with surprise.

"Pregnant?" she mouthed with tears falling from her eyes and her hands instantly when to her stomach.

"The doctors did everything they could to save the baby, but your injuries were to sever," Matt paused again as tears began to build up in his eyes. "We lost the baby," he finally said.

Gabby began to grasp for air as tears soaked her face and cloud her vision. "I lost our baby," she said in-between her sobs. Matt wrapped her into his arms and held her there as they both cried for the loss of their child. The child that neither one knew was a possibility but was wanted more then anything in this world by both.

They held each other for what seemed like hours, each one knowing the other's pain. Matt didn't dare let go of Gabby until she was ready, but once he felt her pull back from his embrace, he knew he had to let her go. She wiped her eyes before she spoke, her mouth still quivered as she tried to collect herself, but there was no use. Matt could see that she was broken.

"I didn't know," she said simply almost looking ashamed with herself.

"You were in the earlier stages," Matt replied taking her hand in his.

"But I should have known," Gabby said.

"This wasn't your fault," Matt replied with a soothing tone in his voice and began rubbing small circles with his thumb on the backside of her hand.

Gabby nodded her head to show him that she understood his words, but truth be told she didn't understand what he had just said to her, because it was her responsibility to protect the baby growing inside her and she failed. How could she be so stupid? How did she not realize the missing period or that fact that she had been getting sick? If she had paying any attention, she wouldn't have missed the signs. "Matt," Gabby spoke his name as she pulled herself back into the present and out of her own mind.

"What is it?" he asked waiting eagerly for her next word.

"I think that I need to be alone."

Matt was taken back from her statement, "Gabby I don't think…"

But he was quickly cut off by Gabby's pleading voice, "Please, I need to be alone for a while."

He could see that there was use in arguing with her. "Okay," he replied getting up from the bed. As he began to walk out of the room, he turned around to face her, he could already see tears were beginning to form in her eyes, it took everything he had inside of him not to gather her in his arms once again. Instead, he was going to give her what she wanted, even if it was killing him inside. "I'm not leaving the hospital," he told her. He waited a second for her to say something, but she didn't. He took a deep breath in and then walked out of the room.

Once Matt was gone, Gabby leaned to one side of the bed as best as she could, but the pain in her stomach reminded her of why she was here in the hospital instead of at home. Tears slowly fell down her checks as her mind began to fully process what all had happened.

Matt sat in an empty waiting room, leaning on the edge of the chair with his head in hands. He didn't want to leave Gabby alone, but right now he was going to do what she asked of him, even if it broke his heart.

Author's Note: Sorry that this chapter is shorter, but I will update in a couple of days with a longer chapter! Hope you are having a wonderful weekend and thank you for all the wonderful reviews and for reading my story.

Grace


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

After giving Gabby a few hours alone to herself, Matt slowly crept back into her hospital room. As he moved closer to her still form on the bed, he noticed that her body slowly moved up and down with each breath that she took and that she made no attempt to acknowledge his presence in the room. To his relieve, she was a sleep. He continued to move around to the other side of the bed to sit in the chair that he once occupied. Before taking his seat, he noticed the streak marks that lined her beautiful face. It broke his heart to know that those tears were ones of great loss and pain.

Once Matt was seated in the semi-soft chair, his eyes never left Gabby. He did his best not to fall a sleep, but his eyes grew heavy with each passing second and before he knew what was happening he was fast a sleep.

Gabby's eyes fluttered open and a smile graced her face as she remembered her dream. She was sitting in a rocking chair, signing a song to the little baby in her arms. She couldn't help but think how much her son looked like Matt; even his jaw line matched the one of his father's. She placed a light kiss on the little one's forehead as she continued to hum a lullaby. She watched in awe as he drifted off to sleep, but before she could enjoy the feeling of motherhood, she was awoken from her slumber. Even though it was just a dream, Gabby ached for that feeling of absolute love. Tears pricked her eyes at the thought of missing out on the experience that she most desperately wanted.

As Gabby wiped her eyes with the back of her hand she turned her head to find Matt a sleep in the chair placed next to her bed. Guilt instantly flooded her senses as she looked at how his body was uncomfortable positioned. She knew why he was there and it panged her to know that everything he was doing was completely out of guilt. Matt had nothing to feel guilty about; he wasn't the one to blame in any of this. There was only one person to blame and it was her. If she hadn't been so selfish about becoming a firefighter then she would have stayed at 51, stayed with Matt and the whole accident wouldn't have happened. They would be at home right now, getting ready for their baby. At the thought of what her future could have been, Gabby felt like she couldn't breathe. She began to gasp for air, but it felt like there wasn't any in the room. She could feel herself beginning to panic as tears soaked her cheeks and she began to sit up.

Matt sprang to his feet as he heard a strange noise coming from the spot next to him. His eyes grew wide as he found Gabby sitting on the bed trying to breath. Matt immediately hit the call button for the nurse and then went to Gabby's side. "Breathe Gabby; everything is going to be okay. Just breathe, take long deep breaths," he soothed her as he rubbed small circles on her back. Before he could say anything else, the room's door burst home and in came the nurse.

"What happened?" She asked as she moved to side of the bed and began to look at the monitor.

"I don't know," Matt answers with his eyes never leaving Gabby's. He continues to sooth her and if on cue, Gabby's breathing begins to even, but she never loses contact with Matt.

Matt didn't even notice that the nurse had messed with the line for Gabby's IV; it wasn't until Gabby's eyes started to close as she leaned back into the bed, and that his eyes moved from her to the nurse. "What are you doing?" Matt asked alarmed by her actions.

"I'm afraid that if she didn't clam down, that she would rupture something or worse. She needs rest if she wants to get out of here soon."

Matt didn't say anything, as he turned his attention back to Gabby. He brushed the stray hairs out of her face. He wasn't sure what just happened, but he did know that whatever it was, he was going to help her through it. They were going to get through this together and anything else that came their way.

Two Days Later

"So the doctors said you're going to be released tomorrow," Matt stated as he placed the jacket on the back side of the chair.

"Yeah," Gabby said with a nod of head. She was extremely relieved to be leaving this place and be back in her own bed and with all of her things. "Who told you?" Gabby asked with a raised eyebrow already knowing the answer.

"Shay," he replied with a smile. "I called her to let her know that I was on my way here and that is when she told me the great news. I bet you are excited to get out of here."

"I don't know if I would use the word excited, but I'm ready to get back to normal," she replied moving her attention away from him. "Speaking of normal," she stated with a slight awkward tone as she turned her stare back to him, "when are you getting back to shift?"

"I am supposed to be back tomorrow, but I was going to call Chief and ask him for a relief to fill in for me."

"You shouldn't do that," Gabby stated immediately.

Matt was taken back by Gabby's response and confusion flooded his face, his mouth bobbed up and down before speaking, but before he could get a sound out Gabby spoke first.

"It's not that I'm not thankful for everything you have done for me, because I am, but I really need everything to go back to normal."

Matt flinched at Gabby's words and then his borrows squinted together as he began to realize what she was saying, "You mean us before the accident?"

"Yes," Gabby with replied quietly. She could read the hurt on Matt's face like an open book, but she knew that both of them were only trying to comfort one another because of the loss they shared. Gabby cleared her throat before she spoke again, "I think we both need to think about things and get back to some sort of solid ground. Matt I'm so thankful that you have been here and I owe you…"

Matt quickly cut her off, "You think that I'm here because I want you to owe me something?"

"That is not what I meant," she said with a break in her voice.

"Then tell me what you really mean," he said crossing his arms as his voice began to rise in volume.

Gabby knew that right now she had to tell Matt how she was feeling as tears began to build in her brown eyes, "The only thing that has changed between us is the fact that we lost our child and we both feel guilty about it, but at the end of the day we are still the same people that ended our relationship because we wanted two different things."

"I know what I want and that is you," Matt said looking directly in her eyes.

"You're grieving Matt and so I am, it is natural for us to seek comfort with each other."

"What I feel for you has nothing to do with grief," he said as he ran his hands over his face with for more force then he intended. He needed to make her see that his feelings were real, that they always have been. He took a deep breath, before speaking again, "We can talk about this later."

"No," Gabby said shaking her head no. "We need to be honest with our selves right now and now I need you to stop coming here. I need you to go back to everything before the accident and everything else."

"Gabby," he spoke her name trying to get through to her.

"Please go," she pleaded with him.

Without saying anything else, Matt grabbed his jacket and did as she asked.

Author's Note:

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews for this story, it is so great to see that a lot of you are enjoying it. I would also like to say, I'm so happy to see so many stories from all of you great writers. I love reading everyone's story just as much as I love writing my own. I hope everyone is able to update soon and I promise that I will do the same. Thanks again!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Did you grab my stuff out of the bathroom?" Gabby asked as she slowly put on her jacket. She winced in pain as leaned to one side putting her arm through the long hole of the jacket.

"Yes," Shay as s she turned around to find an expression of pain gathered onto Gabby's features. "Gabby I told you a million times to let me help you," Shay said rushing towards her best friend.

"I'm fine," Gabby reassured the blonde as she zipped up the coat and tried her best to hide her discomfort. She knew that if Shay saw through her façade, she wouldn't allow Gabby to come home; she would force here to stay here. But Gabby couldn't stay in this hospital a moment longer; she needed to get out of here. Every second longer she stayed in this room, in this building; she was reminded of everything that she lost. The pain of the accident was bearable compared to the pain of losing the child that she and Matt created. She took in a shaky breath at the thought of everything, but she pushed a side that memory and began to focus on what she needed to do once she was out of this place.

"Are you sure about this?" Shay asked drawing Gabby's attention back to present.

"About what?" Gabby countered unsure of what she was asking about.

Shay cleared her throat before speaking again, "I know that you are going through something that I can not even imagine and I will be here for you no matter what, but shouldn't Casey be the one here with you?"

"Shay I already told you."

"I know, something about how Casey was here out of guilt and loss."

"Yup," Gabby replied looking around the room to make sure that she gathered everything to take back home.

"That's bullshit and you know it," Shay said placing her hands on her hips with annoyance laced through her raised voice. Gabby's eyes instantly flung up to meet the blue eyes that glared back at her with a disapproving look. "You didn't see Casey when we sat in that waiting room not knowing if you were going to make it. You didn't see how lost and broken he was. Once he was allowed to see you, he never left your side. I begged him to go home, but he told me that he wanted to be there when you opened your eyes."

Gabby let Shay's words soak through her; she knew that if the roles had been reversed she would have done the same thing. Gabby shook her head to try her best to stay focused on what was real, "it doesn't matter," Gabby quietly said looking down at her feet.

"Of course it does, he was not here out of guilt or loss, and he was here because he loves you."

"You don't know that."

Shay opened to her mouth to speak, but the door to the hospital room opened drawing the attention of the two women out of their conversation and to the person that now stood in the poorly lit room. "Gabriela Dawson," The man's cheery voice bounced off the walls. He smiled at each of them as he stood in the entry way in his complete white uniform that showcased his black name tag that read, Tim.

Gabby looked behind him to see a brown wheelchair, she rolled her eyes. "I'm not riding in that thing," she said pointing to the object behind him.

"Sorry, but it is hospital procedure that we escort you to the doors in the wheelchair."

"I don't give a flying f…" before Gabby could finish her sentence she was quickly cut off by Shay.

"Thanks, we will be happy to abide my hospital procedure. Won't we Dawson?" Shay pressed her lips into a smile and held Gabby's gaze.

Gabby then looked over to the orderly, "Yes, that would make me profoundly happy," Gabby said sarcastically with a fake smile,

"Come on," Shay replied as she guided Gabby to the door. She helped her get situated in the chair and then went and grabbed the bags from the room.

No one said anything as Gabby was being pushed to the elevators; she always hated people fussing over her and this was no expectation. She also knew that if she would have argued with the orderly about the damn chair they would have to stay longer and that was the real reason Shay stepped in when she did. Since the moment they had become friends, they always had each other's back. They each had this ability to see what the other one needed in their time of confusion.

Gabby was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realize that they had made their way out of the elevator and to the front doors of the hospital. Gabby and Shay thanked the orderly and then Gabby slowly climbed out of the chair. It didn't take them long to reach Shay's car. Shay opened the passenger door, and then helped Gabby to her feet. "I got this," Gabby said with a small smile knowing that Shay was just trying to help her, but Gabby needed to do this on her own. She needed to prove to herself and everyone else that she was fine. She bite her lower lip as she climbed into the vehicle, she didn't want a trace of pain on her face.

"You good?" Shay asked watching her for a moment not knowing if she should jump in and help Gabby or let her do this on her own.

"Yeah," Gabby replied with a nod of her head, "I'm good."

Shay didn't say anything else as she closed the door and moved around the front of the car to the driver's side. She quickly opened the door and then got herself situated before starting the car. She backed the car out of the spot and slowly made her way out of the parking garage. Once they made it to the busy street Shay made a right, "I hope you don't mind but we need to make a stop on our way home."

"That's fine," I say as I close my eyes and lean my head back against the headrest. The only thing that was on Gabby's mind was getting back home to her own bed. It had been a while since she got a good night's sleep, just the thought of it made her excited.

"It should only take a few minutes."

"Its fine Shay, I really don't mind."

"Good, I was hoping you would say that."

Gabby immediately opened her eyes and looked over to her, "If we are going where I think we are going, I'm staying in the car."

"You don't have a choice."

Author's Note:

Hello to all you lovely readers, sorry the updates have kind of slow. I'm going to try and update before the New Year, but I can't make any promises. If not I hope everyone has a great time and is able to ring in 2015 with the people you care about most. I also want to say that we have a little over a week until the new episode; I need to know what is going to happen with Dawson and Casey. My hope is that they can work through this and come out stronger. If not I'm going to be one VERY pissed off viewer! Thanks for reading this story and if you have a second let me know what you think.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Gabby felt the car slow down in front of station 51; her eyes automatically went into search mode for a certain truck parked on the street. She let out a huff of annoyance when she located exactly what she was looking for. They hadn't spoken since that day in the hospital, and if Gabby was being honest with herself, she couldn't face him again. She needed time away from him, she needed to forget.

Shay pulled the key out of the ignition and turned in her seat to face Gabby, "You're going inside."

"I can't," Gabby said looking past Shay's shoulder to the building that she once called her second home. Now it was something that she wanted to avoid at all cost.

"No, you are not going to hide from your decisions, I won't allow it. You are going to walk up the drive and greet each one of our brothers and tell them thank you. They have been just as worried as the rest of us about you."

Gabby in a deep breath as she slowly opened the door of the car, her feet rested on the cement of the curb a moment and then she stood up from the seat. Gabby and Shay crossed the street together and then made their way up the short drive. As the entered through the garage, the apparatus floor was empty. "That's weird," Shay said looking around.

"It must be chow time," Gabby said with a shrug of her shoulders as she continued to walk past squad table and through the double doors that separated the garage from the inside of the building. When Gabby walked into the room, she saw everyone was seated around the table in their normal spots as they ate their lunch. Her eyes couldn't help fall onto Casey who was sitting at the far end of the table taking a bite of whatever was on his plate. Her eyes quickly reverted before he spotted her or anyone else for that matter.

"Guys got room for two more?' Shay asked stepping further into the room causing everyone to look up from their plates and over to the two women who just walked into the common room. Smiles graced each of their faces as they took in the sight of them.

"Dawson," Everyone said in happy tones, Herrmann was first one out of chair to greet her. He wrapped her in a warm embrace, Gabby flinched a little as he squeezed her a little too tight. "Sorry kid," he said taking a step back to make sure that he didn't hurt her.

"You're fine," Gabby smiled, "I'm just a little sore still," she replied.

"Well we are happy to have you here, we have missed you."

"I've missed being here."

"Alright Herrmann that is enough," Otis said as he stepped around him and embraced Gabby in the same manor as Herrmann; however he was aware of her injuries.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good," Gabby said with a nod of her head. "I'm glad to back on my feet." Everyone chuckled at her last comment.

Each member of the house greeted Gabby with a hug and light conversation. Matt remained seated as he watched from a distance. Since his somewhat fight with Gabby in the hospital, he has done his best give her space, but now that she was here it was difficult for him to see her and not touch her. He almost jumped out of his seat when he watched her flitch in pain as Herrmann hugged her. He hated seeing her in pain, but she smiled it off and reassured everyone that she was fine.

He could tell Gabby was avoiding him, but he decided that he wasn't going to allow her to do that. He wiped his mouth with the napkin in front of him and then he stood up from his seat. He could feel almost everyone's eyes on him as he made his way over to his former fiancé. "Hi Gabby," he said when he stopped in front of him.

Her eyes riddled where to look, but finally focused on his before she spoke. "Hi Matt," she said softly.

"Can I speak with you for a minute?" he asked not wanting to hash everything out in front of the whole house.

"Umm," Gabby was hesitant but finally gave in, she nodded her head as she turned on her heals towards the short hallway that lead to the bunk area. Matt followed behind her unsure of what he was going to say, truth be told he thought that she would say no.

Once they were in his office, Matt closed the door. Both of them stood there in silence, not knowing what to say, their eyes glued to ground and each one shifted uncomfortably

"How are you feeling?" Matt asked knowing that she already answered the question in the commons.

"Sore," Gabby replied honestly, she was never able to lie to Matt.

"Well you should have gone straight home instead of stopping by here," Matt sounded a little harsher then he wanted.

"Shay wanted me to stop in and see all of the guys, but from here it will be straight home and into bed."

"So you are staying with Shay and Severide?" Matt asked.

"Well all of my stuff is there," Gabby pointed out.

"I know, I just thought that you might stay with Antonio or something."

"No, he offered, but he and Laura are going through a lot right now, I don't want to burden him with all of my issues."

"Gabby you are a lot of things, but a burden is not one of them," Matt said looking her directly in the eye. Gabby didn't say anything, but tight smile made its one onto her lips as she turned away from him and faced the opposite side of the room. Matt watched her for a moment before he spoke again, "I know that we haven't spoken since the other day in the hospital," Matt began to say but was quickly cut off by the sound of Gabby's voice.

"I meant what I said," Gabby said quietly with her back still turned to him.

"I believe that you did, but I think you are wrong," Matt replied. Gabby slowly turned around to face him with her mouth open; Matt could see that she was too tried to argue with him. He didn't want to argue with her, but he was going to fight for her. "I agree with you that we both need time to heal from our loss, but we should be doing that together."

"Then what?" Gabby asked.

"I don't know," Matt simply said. "I just know that losing our child and almost losing you put my whole world in perceptive. I love you."

"Matt this has nothing to do with me not loving you. This about us as individuals, this is about knowing who we are without each other and knowing that our pain and grief isn't the thing that connects us, because if it is then our relationship isn't going to be strong enough," Tears began to spring to Gabby's eyes as she opened her mouth, "I need this time to fix what is broken inside of me."

"You're not broken," Matt said moving to Gabby. He took her hands in his own, "You are still that brave amazing woman that I fell in love with the moment you walked into my life." He needed to make her see what he saw every time he looked at her. Matt moved his hand to the side of her face and wiped away a fallen tear from her cheek.

"That girl feels like she is long gone."

"No she's not, she is right here," Matt began to lean in but what quickly stopped by Gabby.

"Please don't," she asked with a sadness in her voice that Matt has never heard before. "I can't, I can't when I feel the way that I do."

"Like what?" Matt asked with confusion laced throughout his voice.

"Ashamed for not protecting our child."

Author's note:

I really got the writing bug, so I thought that I would just jot down some ideas or at least start the next chapter, but before I knew what was happening I completed chapter 16. I hope that you enjoyed the update. Thank you for being awesome readers!


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Matt's eyes opened wide as Gabby's admission danced through his mind. "Gabby," he spoke her name as he reached out to touch the side of her face, but she stepped further out of his reach.

"I know what you are going to say, but it doesn't change how I feel and one day you will feel the same."

"It was accident," Matt began to explain but was quickly cut off by Gabby.

"I know that it was an accident, but everything that happened before that was my fault, that is all on me," Gabby said wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She then continued, "If I hadn't left that night, I would have been on shift here at 51 and the accident wouldn't have happened."

Before Matt could say anything, the bells sounded off throughout the whole firehouse, "Ambulance 61, Truck 81, Squad 3, Battalion 25, and Engine 51, Building Fire at 51550 Wabash."

Matt looked past Gabby's shoulder knowing that when he returned to the house, she would be gone. He didn't want to leave things like this but he didn't have a choice. He quickly leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek, "I will call you later," he said looking into her brown eyes to show her that it wasn't a question.

Gabby knew that right now wasn't a time to tell him no, she didn't want his mind any other place then where it needed to be. She nodded her head, to let him know that it was okay. With that, he walked quickly out of his office towards the door out of the sleeping quarters. As he opened the door, he turned around to look at her. She gave him a small smile and then he went through the door. She looked around his office for a moment before taking a seat on the small bed. She instantly released the tears she had been trying to fight off since the moment she entered this place.

Matt jumped into the passenger seat of the truck and quickly began to zip up his jacket as Cruz pulled out of the garage. He hated the way he left things with Gabby just now. The last image he had of her, continued to circle his mind, seeing her standing there in his office with this expression he had never seen before, just tore at him.

"Lieutenant," Cruz's voice broke through his thoughts, "you okay?"

"Yeah," Matt replied knowing that right now wasn't the time for personal things. He needed to focus on what was at stake right now, he needed to be a leader and show his men that he was ready for whatever they were about to enter. "Are you?" Matt asked putting on his glove.

"Yes sir," Cruz said with a nod of his head.

As Gabby held her head in her hands, she heard a light knock from the closed glass door. She looked up to see Shay standing there, Gabby got up from the bed and walked over to the door as she wiped away the wetness from her face.

"You ready to go," Gabby said clearing her throat as she walked out of Matt's office. She could see Shay's eye begin to cloud with worry, "I'm fine," Gabby said trying to brush everything off, but by the look on Shay's face she could see the blonde wasn't buying any of it. "I'm just really sore and really tried," Gabby told her.

"Then lets get you home," Shay said knowing that Gabby wasn't telling the complete truth, but she knew that right now was not the time to push Gabby. She would talk when she was ready.

The drive back to Shay and Severide's apartment was silent; Gabby didn't dare look anywhere other then outside of the window. She didn't want to talk about her conversation with Matt; she didn't want to talk about anything. The only thing that she could focus on was this hole that was inside of her now and the guilt that she felt. The logically side of her brain kept telling her that things like this happen and it is out of anyone's control, but the feeling that consumed her body was the complete opposite. She was so lost in thought, that she didn't even feel the car stop.

"Gabby," Shay called out to her for the second time.

Gabby jumped a little at the sound of Shay's voice, she looked around to the familiar street, "Sorry," she mumbled as she unbuckled herself and opened the car door. She slowly got out of the vehicle and followed Shay to the apartment.

"I was thinking that we can watch old ridiculous movies and eat ice cream all day," Shay said as she unlocked the apartment and both women stepped inside.

"Actually," Gabby replied taking off her jacket, "I kind of just wanted to sleep for a while, but may be later."

"Oh," Shay said, "Okay, do you need anything before you go to bed?"

"No, I'm okay," Gabby said as she made her way up the stairs. She turned around half way up the stairs, "Shay, thanks for everything."

"You got it," Shay told her with a nod of her head. Gabby gave her a small smile and turned back around.

Matt dumped a bottle of water over his head; he closed his eyes thankful for cooling sensation of the water as it ran down his neck. Once the bottle ran empty his eyes opened and took a deep breath of air.

"Close one," Severide said as he came up to him as he took of his gloves. "You made a great save Casey."

"Thanks," he said as tucked his helmet under his arm and walked back over to truck. The men all began to gather the gear and head back to 51. Once everyone packed up, Cruz pulled the truck away from the curb. Matt could hear all the guys talking about what had just happened, but his mind was on calling Gabby.

Once they arrived at the station, Matt jumped down from the truck and went directly to his office. As he took his phone from his pocket, he closed the door and dialed her number. The phone rang as he waited impatiently for her to answer, but to his dismay the call went to voicemail. "Gabby it's me," he spoke and then paused trying to find his words, "I know that we didn't get to finish our conversation and I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to tell you that none of things that happened between us was your fault. When you get this message call me, I love you." Matt hung up the phone and placed it into his pocket.

Gabby lay in bed, hoping that sleep would overtake her, but it never came. She could hear her phone ring from the nightstand next to her, but she didn't dare to move. She just wanted to be alone; she just wanted to lie in this bed until the pain she felt went away. She wanted to go back in time make a different choice.


End file.
